Monday, August 16, 2010
I had to get out. I don't know who's right or wrong but I can feel the conceit. I can feel the condescension. Why does my heart hurt so bad when I should be tolerant? I can't do it today. Not for a while. This is too much today. I feel my heart beating faster and faster and I need to let my mind rest and it won't. I love you Lord. I need you Lord. Please help me...please...show me your light and your love. Show me your way.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
First things first
So, like most I used to have a 'Myspace' and I used to post all the time about my life and just boring crap like that. Not that this couldn't and won't be just as boring, but- I feel like I didn't quite understand blogging back then. I mean really, who wants to read about how guilty you felt for eating a bowl of ice cream at 1:00am? Selfishly I plan to use my blog to
a) vent
b) think
c)muddle
d)...
A complete waste of time for anyone else ;) Anyway...
My life is so my life. Hah...there's not much to it but for some reason I can't help but think how blessed and fortunate I am. My family and friends are never far from me. Geographically yes, but I'm always thinking of them. Most should know that if they're on my mind that's the closest place to be because I LIVE in my head. I miss a lot because I'm always thinking. It's good in ways but really not in a lot of other ways.
Wednesday-August 11, 2010 we lost my Grandpa 'Pete' Adams. More than 10 years ago we lost his wife, my middle name's sake, Pauline Hamblet Adams. Grandpa was never quite the same without her was he? I don't remember so much because she died right before I turned 4. So thinking this way...knowing that he had lost the love of his life, I remember the best belly laugh in the world and that his smile could light up a room. Can you imagine a happier person? That's pretty amazing to me. Anyway...this kind of stuff in life just boggles my mind. There are so many little nuances in life that are unexplainable. God is....unexplainable. That's all there is to it...
We do so much to try and figure it all out. Why do I spend so much time in my head when nothing's really ever going to make perfect sense....ever. My eyes are starting to hurt and I don't think I'm helping myself hah. Maybe I don't understand blogging the way I thought I did.
a) vent
b) think
c)muddle
d)...
A complete waste of time for anyone else ;) Anyway...
My life is so my life. Hah...there's not much to it but for some reason I can't help but think how blessed and fortunate I am. My family and friends are never far from me. Geographically yes, but I'm always thinking of them. Most should know that if they're on my mind that's the closest place to be because I LIVE in my head. I miss a lot because I'm always thinking. It's good in ways but really not in a lot of other ways.
Wednesday-August 11, 2010 we lost my Grandpa 'Pete' Adams. More than 10 years ago we lost his wife, my middle name's sake, Pauline Hamblet Adams. Grandpa was never quite the same without her was he? I don't remember so much because she died right before I turned 4. So thinking this way...knowing that he had lost the love of his life, I remember the best belly laugh in the world and that his smile could light up a room. Can you imagine a happier person? That's pretty amazing to me. Anyway...this kind of stuff in life just boggles my mind. There are so many little nuances in life that are unexplainable. God is....unexplainable. That's all there is to it...
We do so much to try and figure it all out. Why do I spend so much time in my head when nothing's really ever going to make perfect sense....ever. My eyes are starting to hurt and I don't think I'm helping myself hah. Maybe I don't understand blogging the way I thought I did.
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